This is 'public' for reasons named.

have you forgotten how to love yourself?

i feel like livejournal doesn't provide the comfort for me that it used to.
i haven't actually written anything i've been feeling in a long time.
so many conversations go on about livejournal, and it subconciously confuses me because i used to get ridiculed for writing in one.
it feels so naive to have to make a journal private or friends only because of the immature folks who may read something they can't handle, or to have to make friend cuts because you'd prefer some of the people on your "friends" list to not read what you have to say. it is a 'live'journal, after all, isn't it?
despite something i said tonight, i do believe that sometimes, writing in this infamous livejournal can make one feel less saddened. though, unfortunately, i haven't let this be a source to pool my thoughts into recently.
this is relevant:
Prettynpink347 (10:46:04 PM): anyone read this conversation and see we are NERDS
x awkwardsaw x (10:46:13 PM): hahah
x awkwardsaw x (10:46:23 PM): i sometimes want to post what we say, though i hate posting conversations..
x awkwardsaw x (10:46:29 PM): its just things i want people to know
x awkwardsaw x (10:46:55 PM): like "i hate being intellectual" "writing is beautiful because it can't be heard, only read"
Prettynpink347 (10:47:15 PM): i am writing that in my lj
i believe that all of my close friends are, in fact, nerds, and i also know that i have the most awesome friends. i think we choose to be nerds, because we dislike so many people and it's far too difficult to pretend to get along with them. i have 3 friends in high school. thank god there are only a few weeks left.
goodbye, livejournal.
  • Current Music
    red house painters

(no subject)

updating for two days in a row! go me!
i have no school tomorrow. hooray.
so i had a few extra minutes tonight, and i was bored, so i decided to make a new layout for my journal. i always end up putting my entries on the left side. i put them in the center, on the right, but i never like it any other way. oh well; i'm strange. deal with it.
and i also did a friend's list cut since half of the people that were on my friend's list i never talk to. if anyone wants back on, just start commenting and stuff.
as soon as i find another few minutes, i'm going to make a friend's only stamp. this will probably be my last public post. <3 love you all.

Look at it --->

I don't feel like writing a whole new review, so this is what I wrote in the fan2fan last night.

Wow. I just got back from the West Palm Beach show. It was my first Guster show...and I was right up front. And it was just...amazing. I got there 3 hours before the show started, and my friend Matt
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Wow. I just got back from the West Palm Beach show. It was my first Guster show...and I was right up front. And it was just...amazing. I got there 3 hours before the show started, and my friend Matt <lj-user="BrodieDurden1"> and I were the only two there. Before I walk in, who do I see walking around outside the venue, but Adam Gardner and his wife?? So I gave his this confused look and semi-smile, and waved a bit. He nodded and smiled. We went in to buy my friend's ticket, and when we went back outside (after proceeding to tell Matt "HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS ADAM GARDNER!!!") we chatted Adam up a bit. He had the coolest watch <i>ever</i> on. A few hours later, I see Pasty walking around outside. He's on his cell phone, so I don't want to interrupt him. As soon as he walks over to where Matt and I are, I approach him and shake his hand and introduce myself. He was so blown away and flattered that someone recognized him. He introduced himself as Mike, and I was like, "I know who you are!" and he said, "You do?!" He's so modest. It's great. Brian was walking around outside also on his cell phone, and once he hung up, I ran over to him and said hello. He was in the middle of making his setlist, and asked us if there was anything in particular that we wanted to hear, and I told him that I would love to hear him sing Circle of Friends, or any other song. And he was like, "Yeah, I can sing." Unfortunately, I never got to meet Ryan because of all the teeny-boppers surrounding him. I was incredibly pleased to see how many people made it out to the show. I didn't think too many people had heard about it, but I guess I did my job as a rep well trying to get the word out. At the show I gave out flyers with my information on it for any person to contact me if they wanted cd's or anything. They seemed excited about that. The light show wasn't what I expected, but Pasty definitely knows what he's doing. All in all, it was just a great experience. Sorry for rambling so long. Thanks for anyone who actually read all of this. And the setlist:
Diane (requested by me. Ryan explained how he loves the song, but they don't play it often.)
Airport (PEOPLE SCREMED OH-SO-DIRTY AND THREW PINGPONG balls! I was so excited, because I didn't think there were going to be any fans who knew the traditions.)
I Spy (Ryan explains how they will play one more song, walk off stage, and if we cheer loud enough, they'll come back on and play more.)
Fa Fa
So Long
Brian singing Eclipse of the Heart. classic.

I took some video of Brian singing, so if anyone is interested, contact me. AIM: xawkwardsawx


(no subject)

today i decided that i love<3 to paint.
i wish i was freaking talented in that area.
it's just so fun. we had to make a back drop for drama club.
times square skyline. it's soo pretty.
i will post a picture.
well, it was fun. and if i was better, i think i'd paint a lot more often.
man man man.
sunday night was <3.

so..he was on the news today.
and i have been nonstop listening to him. because he is amazing.

We used to laugh a lot, but only because we thought that everything good always would remain. Nothing gonna change, there's no need to complain. Mmmmnnnn

It's as simple as something that nobody knows, that her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes.
On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards, and her feet are all covered in tar balls and scars.
It's as common as something that nobody knows, that her beauty will follow wherever she goes.
Up the hill, in the back of her house, in the would, she love me forever, I know she could.
I remember when you and me, mmmmm how we used to be just good friends. Wouldn't give me none. When all I wanted was some.
She's got a whole lot of reasons, she can't think of a single one that can justify leaving.
He got none, but he thinks he got so many problems, man he got too much time to waste.
His dreams are like commercials, but her dreams are picture perfect. And our dreams are so related, though they're often underestimated.
Well I was eating lunch at the DLG when this little girl came, and she sat next to me. Never seen nobody move the way she did.
Well she did, and she does, and she'll do it again.
When you move like a jellyfish, rhythm don't mean nothing, you go with the flow, you don't stop. Move like a jellyfish, rhythm is nothing, you go with the flow, you don't stop. Mmmmmmnnn.
If you would only listen, you might just realize what you're missing. You're missing me!

Well, there you go. Once again. You missed the point, and then you point your fingers at me, and said that I said not to believe. I believe.
  • Current Music

i never freaking update this anymore.

i'm up early as hell. i had a fun night last night. screw 5 weeks. man that's a long time. i missed it.
but now it's back. muhaha. i miss someone, but they feel like hating me. that's why i stopped, but now i'm starting again.
i think the only reason people update their livejournals is to get comments. i mean, noone sits there and writes about what they did all day.
sometimes..dreams make me happy. i had awesome dreams last night. one in particular..was wonderful. heh.
and i'm really excited because i didn't get ANY blisters from my brand new heels that i wore last night! woop!